So, where do I begin. I've been soooo busy!!!

Well, I obviously need to renew my membership with Diaryland. All my pics are not showing!!! ;p

Yesterday I saw a number of the sale that I haven't seen for a looonggggg time. I was totally not expecting it either but Z kept telling me to look because he just knew that I had lost weight. He was right. I'm back in the 140's for now, but I'm visiting Z's parents with him this weekend and that means eating!!! Really good home cooked food. She is making gnocchi (sp?) for us tonight. I can't wait. I never had it but it looks delicious!! I'll try to go light on the heavy cream sauce though. Being lactose intolerant doesn't make that too difficult for me LOL. I'll still try to workout this weekend. Maybe the community center would be good so that I can get some weights in and running. Or I could always use Z's parents treadmill for running. Hmmm we'll see.

I went wedding dress shopping yesterday!!! I had to take a vacation day just to do it. I was running all around from the time I got up until 11pm at night when I finally got home. I got up went to the gym. Did 30 minutes of lifting and 40 of running. I gased the car on the way home, got windshield wiper fluid, got the car washed, filled wiper fluid, went inside and showered, did my hair/makeup, went to pick up my mom and then off we went.

I was soo apprehensive. I felt like a COW! I really didn't want to have to squeeze into dresses and have everyone see me spilling out everywhere, but it had to be done. I went to a small boutique in Puyallup first and they were wonderful. Took really good care of me. Knew my size just by looking at me! Put me in a boostier (sp?) and a slip and slipped dress after dress over my head. Each one fit! I was shocked when I felt the zipper go up every time. Must be fat girl complex. It never goes away. Even when she tied me into a corset type of dress I totally didn't think it would reach. There would surely be a ton of skin sticking out!! Nope. Actually there wasn't enough skin to make it look right. She wanted me to get a smaller one. The lady kept calling me tiny. WTH!!!??? So not! I had a great time and I felt sexy!!! I never thought I would look like that. Ever. My mom gasped and said I was smaller than her. WHATEVER!!! But I have to admit the form fitting mermaid and sheath dresses I chose were very form fitting and showed every tone curve! I truly think the lifting of weights has really changed my shape. I actually - dare I say it - liked they way I looked. My tummy looked so flat! My arms didn't look like too bit sausages! My neck looked long and graceful. I was shocked.

We went to the next shop and couldn't get it because they were so busy. We made an appointment for Monday after work instead. I'll be there from 7:30-9pm ugggghh! I'll make sure to pack a snack. Mom is going to meet me there. I'll suggest she eats as well. We both get headaches and really cranky if it's late and we haven't eaten.

The next place we went wasn't as nice as the boutique but they had tons of dresses. The sales person had me try on a dress because she said I had a great body and wanted me to humor her. I said thank you but I've got a lot to lose! But sure I'll try it on, thought it was totally not something I would ever try on. I put it on and came out and stood on the platform and was shocked that it looked really nice! I felt like a princess. She then placed a veil and a tiara on me which completed the transformation:). The next thing I heard was my mom crying!!! She was so happy. She called me her little girl and said that she was so proud. I stood there not knowing what to say. I never thought I would/could look like that. I always felt fat, ugly, and tom boyish. Mom mother reminded me of this several times. I just accepted it and moved on. I was pleasantly surprised to see that yes an ugly duckling can turn into a swan :). I'm still most likely not going to get the "princess bride" dress, because I want to be a sexy sophisticated bride instead, but it made me happy to make my mother so happy/cry! LOL.

I was even more tickled to hear the sales girl direct me to the 2's and 4's as they were the smallest size in there store. WTH!!!??? I blurted!!! And then started laughing. I said I'm at least a 12. Well I tried some of those on and thy were too big. I then tried on 10's and they fit perfectly. They say that your dress size is 1 size bigger than your jeans. I'm between 7/8 and 9/10's so I guess that makes send. That plus the fact that I was back in the 140's tickled me pink. It just goes to show that if you work hard and take it one day a time, eat clean and still live life but try to make better choices you can and will lose weight. Sometimes it just takes a bit longer than we want. Or we're not willing to put into the effort. I've failed on both accounts several times. I'm not perfect. Everyday has its own learning curve. I look forward to the day that I walk down the isle to my sweetie Z and make his heart swell with pride!!!

I hope I can take his breath away along with everyone else in the room!

(Engaged 9/16/05)