Catchy title no?

Auto pilot. That is what I'm pretty much doing lately. Oh that and counting the days until my baby comes home to "complete" me. I've also been working out religiously, cooking healthy meals, and chopping up fresh fruits and veggies. I've been eating at home and packing my lunch so hopefully that and the working out will make a dent in my weight.

I'm feeling better in my pants but I still have a way to go to have them be baggy. I put on a pair of my black slacks the other day and they felt a bit tight, but wearable. I want them to be loose again darnit! Oh well all I can do is be consistent, eat clean, and keep moving.

I asked mom to darken my hair and only leave a few caramel highlights. It always feels so shiny when I get my hair done. I was really close to cutting it but I held out. I want it to be long. Middle of my back long, but it takes forever to grow it out after you�ve had a short bob for the last couple of years. I had the back of my heck shaved, so you can imagine how long it took to get it back my shoulders. I want to have long hair again. Especially for my wedding day ;). No pressure Z. I�m just saying�

A friend is going to join my gym so that should help my motivation as well. I've mostly been concentrating on cardio right now to get the fat off. I'll probably add weights again in the future.

Why is it every time I'm happy I have to gain weight? Sheesh! At least it was only 10lbs this time. It could of been so much worse!

I'm checking out the Core plan this week. I went and bought a bunch of fruit, made FF SF jello pudding last night. I made butterscotch SF FF pudding and added pumpkin puree, more splenda, and cinnamon so it kinda tastes like pumpkin pie filling. It turned out yummy and very filling. I packed some today too. I still have some stir fry from last week so I added that to the chicken and beef that I had left and some fruit so I'm set for the day. I had my 2 plain instant oatmeal packets this morning and I'm feeling good. Quite satisfied at the moment which is nice. I hate being hungry.

On the marathon front, I decided that I will not be doing it in November. I may shoot for a later date. Z said he might even train with me, but as of late I just haven't felt up to it though I'm more than happy to run to loose weight, but I don't want to run all of the time. Plus I've been kind of depressed since Z left, so setting out to run miles and miles with no one to make me laugh or watch out for me is no fun to tell you the truth and the thought of running that many miles on a treadmill makes me want to puke!!! Oh well at least I'm still moving and hopefully the scale is moving on downwards. Wouldn�t that be thrilling?

Oh and I'm going to NY next week so that should cheer me up and take my attention off of the fact that my baby is gone for at least a week right? I will try to be on my best behavior with my parents as they can get under my skin in nano seconds. I want them to have fun and I want to enjoy myself as well. I will also have to watch what I eat, but on the Core plan or the Flex plan I should be fine.

Z and I decided that I won�t be visiting him in Dublin so that I can save my vacation time and money for a trip some place warm this winter. By then he we�ll both want to get some time away together to frolic in the sun and neither of us will have to worry about work. It was a hard decision to make because I want to see him so bad and miss him so much, but being able to go some place tropical with my baby in the future will be much more enjoyable. Or so I keep telling myself anyways� Please God just get me threw the next couple of weeks and make them go fast.

Z talked me into posting as I haven�t been very regular lately. I haven't felt like I've had much to say, but I guess I did today. I'll post again when I feel the inspiration.

(Engaged 9/16/05)