Day's Left until I become Mrs. Smith :)

That pretty much sums it up. I don't know why I'm so freaking tired. I just exhausted. I barely made it through my 60 min workout on the step mill. I actually had to lower it from level 6 for about 2 minutes to keep going. I finished but I was so tired and sore. I've been sleeping so I don't know what is up.
I need a vacation. Z and I both need a vacation away together. I've been short tempered with him as well. I don't mean to be. I just feel like exploding sometimes and am over sensitive. I know this but can not stop it. I'm lucky he loves me so much. I try to point out that I'm aware and that I'm sorry, but I know that doesn't make it right.
I'm going on Accutane for my pimples. I got my first one in 3rd grade and have been getting them ever since. I've been on minocycline, tricyclen, Retina, Cleocentine, oxy, stridex, seabreeze, other benzoly products and for the last 6 year Pro Active. It worked the best out of everything but it hasn't been working as well the last year. Or my skin has changed/adapted to the medication. I'm almost thirty and am tired of them. I've even started to get the occasional cystic, deep, painful, and impossible to hide pimples. I always have a few but they never seem to go away. It's the worst right before TOM. They usually don't suggest Accutane for non nodularistic pimples, but they do for non responsive pimples like mine. Lucky me! I've already given one blood test and have to give another one before I go on it. It should be for 4-6 months. Every month I'll have to give blood and take a pregnancy test. I'm on Depo already and they suggest another form as well but I've never been pregnant nor had an abortion, so I'm not planning on doing the 2nd form of BC. They don't suggest trying to get pregnant at least a month after the treatment. It can take up to 2 years after Depo to get it out of your system and I'm not married (yet) and don't plan on having kids with in the next two years anyways, so I'm good on all fronts. After the treatment most people never have to use products or medication again. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm well aware of the side affects and will be monitored by my doctor. It's a big step but I'm ready to be done with them already.
On a good note I'm going to Teatro ZinZanni this Saturday thanks to Z. He is taking me and his best friend and his gf are coming as well. I'm looking forward to that. Hopefully I'll be able to get rid of this mood!
I've contacted a dietitian to see if she can help me with the food side of the weight loss equation. I know it has to be the food. I workout. I move. I sweat. But the weight just keeps bouncing around.
I'm thinking about seeing a Naturopath for further investigation into my food allergies and maybe for a detox. I'm still looking into this. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. I don't really pay attention to the food allergies I know about because they didn't seem very severe and I didn't have extensive tests (i.e. blood taken) or anything else to really prove anything to me. I just try to eat clean most of the time and drink lots of water.
I dunno. I've got lots on the brain verging on racing thoughts. I'm just trying to make it day by day. Why am I in this mood?



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