So lifes been a whirl wind!!!
I haven't updated for ever.

On 4th of July we went to Z's families house and caught up on sleep, spent time with his bro's and their wives/gf's and friends. I ATE TONS and didn't workout for 4 days straight. YIKES. I was feeling at my lowest ever Saturday the 3rd, but by Tuesday the 5th I was feeling HUGE ;).

Mon 27th:
60 min step mill

Tue 28th:
50 min step mill & 60 min lifting

Wed 29th:
60 min step mill

Thur 30th:
45 min step mill & 60 min lifting

Fri 1st:
60 min step mill

Sat 2nd:
rest/eat

Sun 3rd:
rest/eat

Mon 4th:
rest/eat

Tue 5th:
rest/eat

Wed 6th:
60 min step mill

Thur 7th:

Morning - 60 min elliptical
Evening - 45 min step mill & 60 min lifting

Fri 8th:
rest

Sat 9th:
60 min step mill
60 min precor

Sun 10th:
fast walking for 90 min

Mon 11th:
50 min step mill

This weekend Z and I did house stuff like yard work. I baked and cooked a bunch of food for this week so that we have stuff ready on hand when we get off of work for dinner and my sweetie Z will have some butterscotch chocolate chip cookies to snack on and think of me. He also moved some stuff in my place. Things are sort of settling down, though I KNOW that our lives will just get MORE and MORE complicated as Z and my mother keep telling me. I don't like hearing it but I know they are right.
I also had a HUGE blow out with my mom. I do not understand my mother half of the time. She is 100% Korean, but is very Americanized in her thinking and how she deals with daily things EXCEPT for how she believes I should behave with her. I love her dearly but we argue all of the time and it hurts us both. We can't be with each other for more than 5 minutes without pissing each other off. It makes me really sad because my mom is my only family. I'm all my mother has too since the rest of her family never left Korea and never plan on doing so. So all we have is each other. She is married and I have Z but she is the only "blood" that I have. I have no connection or want any type of relationship with my father, so it is really important to get this right. I want my mother in my life and my future childrens life. We almost didn't make it. We were ready to write each other off. But then we kept trying to talk it out and it seems that I have to modify my way of interacting with my mom. I can not voice my opinions or say what I really think. This is a jagged pill to swallow as I don't like be sensored in any way, but I'm going to have to try to learn because I want to make this work. I know that I'm more capable of changing. It's going to be hard and I'm going to have to chew on this for a while until the next time mom and I hang out. We are way to similiar, but see things differently. The main thing is that we are both VERY stubborn and speak out minds, but I'm going to have to learn to curb mine. I can only control my behavior. Not my mothers. I do this because I love her and don't want to lose her. Thank goodness I have Z to keep me sane :). I can do this.
One day at a time...

(Engaged 9/16/05)