Man I am so not on a "normal sleep schedule right now. Friday I fidgeted until 2am so that I would be good & tired and finally fall asleep by my lonesome (Z was down south at his brothers graduation) in my big house. I was then rudely awakened by the painters turning on my hose at around 7:49am. I jumped at the sound of that high pitched squeal that erupted from the pipe when they turned on the water. Funny, but it took me a while to figure out where I was and for a brief moment I wondered where Z was, but then I remembered...gone.

I woke up, greeted the painters and went to the gym. I didn't know where the strength was going to come from, but I decided I was going to do my leg day with weights. I made it through with sweat pouring down my nose as I tried to ensure I was performing the movements with correct posture. I was totally focused on feeling the burn though and watching my muscles move. It ended up being a really good workout. Went home showered and then got cute for no apparent reason other than to prove to myself that I can still do it as I have been doing the bare minimum when going to work during mid shift since there is no one around usually AND Z was away. When I was satisfied with my reflection I waited for the painters to finish and then looked over their work. It looked great. A few touch ups here and there and a number that was re-nailed onto the house incorrectly ( as a 6 instead of a 9) and the project was finally finished. My mom drove up about then and invited me over for dinner and perused the job. She liked it as well. It looks really good.

I spent the night over there missing Z's arms around me and his warmth enveloping me. I also had issues with sleeping fully clothes as I was at my mother�s house and she is prone to coming in and rubbing my back and patting my head as I sleep. I had a hard time adjusting to the heat of the down comforter as well. I was HOT! I was cold! Yadda, yadda throughout the night. That is the first time I can think of where I didn't just fall asleep like the living dead in my old room. My furniture was given to the little girl a crossed the street, so my room now holds my mom's old stuff which is really nice but not mine... It was a bit strange, but I still felt safe and warm, I was just missing something. My Z.

Mom woke me up at 6am Sunday morning to walk 8 miles on some very achy legs from previous days leg workout. I made it through, ate some lunch afterwards and then had to get ready for work since I hadn't heard from my co-worker yet. I went in and about 30 minutes he shows up! I stuck around for about 2-3 hours and then went home to wait for Z to get back. He didn't get to my house until 1:30am or so. We then drove to the east side to run a quick errand then went to my second home and crash after some intense lovin and stuff. It was amazing last night. Lots of emotions rose up in my chest. He saw it in blazing in my eyes. It's amazing how well we fit together. How he knows how to touch and caress my skin so tenderly. It's as though he has the key to my heart unlocking deep emotions that I didn't even know I had, allowing them to finally rise to the surface. It's shocking every time it happens, but very freeing at the same time. It's not as though I can articulate what I'm feeling but my entire being becomes infused with it. As though it's pouring out of my soul to be share with my Z, my love.

Today I'm tired, fuzzy brained and still sore from my last week�s workouts, but I feel so loved :). That alone can carry me through this typical Monday.

** As a side note, I'm proud to announce that I replaced the cold water on/off valve and pipe for my kitchen sink Friday with only two trips to the store, one trip to my parents house to get the tools from my step dad and two calls to Zac to confirm a few things hehehe. My mom and Z were very proud of me. I am proud of me too! It's amazing what a person can do if they set their mind to it.

Oh and I had a childhood friend call me over the weekend. We met when I was like 3. He mother used to watch me while my mother worked. She actually fed me and drove me to school just like a second daughter. Her daughter and I are the am age. We were like sisters and we fought just like them too :). She the smaller, cuter, smarter one. Me the dopey, quiet, chubby one. She's 28 now married (7 years) and has a 5 year old child. He younger brother is 22, not married, but has two children. It was really cool talking to her. She said I sound so different. She does too. She wants to visit. Wouldn't that be a hoot? Meeting up after all these years? Her mother and father divorced when we were about 7 or so and I haven't seem her since. Her mother some how got in contact with my mom on and off throughout the years and my mother gave her my home number, I guess that is how she contacted me. Should be interesting to see how things turn out.

(Engaged 9/16/05)