So I weighed in on Saturday as I said I would, but it was exactly the same as it was on 5/8/04, so no gain no loss, but today I start TOM so I have no idea what it will be after. I haven't had a normal period for about 3 months. I did spot pretty heavily for about an ENTIRE month (really, really sucked), but it wasn't really my period, so I'm hoping "aunty flow" will be gentle. I highly doubt it though.

I'm still experimenting lightly with what I need to do to get my weight to drop down a bit since I'm pretty much maintaining right now, but would love to get down another 10, 15, or even another 20, though that is probably totally pushing it. I want to be leaner, but I also want to be able to enjoy this happy time in my life, so I'm kind of torn. Enjoying my life doesn't mean I need to let loose though, so I just need to find that combination of stuff that allows me to do both. I'm working on it and Z is right there to help me on my way. He is still going great on his journey. He is basically kicking as and taking names. We've both decided to eat more at home to save money, it's healthier, and it goes a long way when you cook a lot and have leftovers. It will be better for all of us in the long run. We'll go out every once in a while, but it doesn't have to be all of the time. Lord knows that I need to save more, since last months spending on painting the house and purchasing stuff for the hot tub and paying the mortgage gouge a pretty good hole in my savings, but I just need to be patient and tuck a little away at a time.

Two weird things happened this last week. M called out of the blue while I was at work one evening. He and I dated a bit and he worked in my group for a bit, but I knew earlier on that it wasn't going to go anything further. He was very sweet, but I didn't really feel anything AND we both worked at the same company pretty closely, so that was going down a dead end street pretty quickly. We still talked occasionally, but I thought that would stop once he knew about Z and I, but it didn't. He was just checking in to see how I was doing and to let me know how he missed talking and stuff, but to be honest wouldn't one assume that things would change once the other party gets a real boyfriend and is ecstatically happy and in love? Hmmm not for M I guess. I felt a bit awkward, but it didn't seem to be bothering him any so I continued to be nice, since he is a really nice guy. I told Z later and he thought it was more a call to see if I was still happy in my new relationship. Yeah that makes sense I guess. The other was an older gentleman bought me a beer while I was waiting for two of my girl friends to arrive at the Blue Water Bistro. He reminded me of my uncle Mac with braces. I thanked him (I was in the middle of a phone call with my parents), but I felt a little awkward knowing that I already have a boyfriend, ya know? My friends showed up shortly after the beer arrived at my table (I wasn't finished with the first one I had ordered) and he left after that. Z said he was probably being a gentleman and buying me a drink as I was waiting by myself and he thought I was pretty :). It was a very kind gesture.

I'm still really stinking tired and I'm not eating regularly, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right? I brought my workout close so that I can go later tonight, since I didn't go this morning and yesterday was a break day. I really wanted to continue on with my nap with Z before I came into work. It's not like I should be tired, but damnit I am. I guess I'm just lazy huh? But Z did say he was really tired to, but didn't know why? Not like we did anything overly strenuous. We got up went to the store to buy breakfast stuff, cooked it and ate it. It was yummy, healthy, and cheap. I would say quicker, but I was having issues with my pancakes this morning, so they took a little longer to meet my satisfaction, but once they were done they hit the spot. I cooked WAY too much for Z, me and his roommate, but hey we can always eat it for dinner.

The throat is still sore on and off. I'm still tired. Still watching what I eat, but not eating regularly enough or small enough portions often enough throughout the day. I'm still drinking lots of water and not that much caffeine, but I'm really tempted on a daily basis to wallow in coffee, but so far I have succumbed to it just yet. I'm currently drinking black tea which is good for me, no calories (used in conjunction with splenda), it feels good on my throat, and has a little bit of caffeine, though I would jump at the opportunity to drink an Americano with cream from Starbucks in a memento:).

Z and I went to REI on Saturday to pick up his tent and to buy new boots, but we left with his tent (of course), two new pairs of boots (really nice too), a new pack for me (really cute and functional per Z), and a new stove. It was WAY cool to set up the tent in the living room of Z's condo and play it in. I love my boots and my backpack! I'm actually wearing my new boots today to break them in. They look really nice with my boot flared jeans from Old Navy to boot so to speak heh. I so can not wait to go on our trip. Z mentioned maybe doing a little backpacking next weekend to get the boots and stuff warmed up a bit before the trip which I'm totally down for. I can't wait! I still need to get some two way pants (not sure what they are technically called, but you can zip the legs off and make them shorts), another pair of light weight shorts, we need food, and I'm sure we'll find some other things along the way. REI is so cool. Z gave much $$$ there this weekend, but I'm sure we'll get our monies worth in the long run.

It's been quiet. Hopefully it stays that way :).

(Engaged 9/16/05)