Day's Left until I become Mrs. Smith :)

So I think it's starting to happen. I think Z and I have transitioned into the not so frantic want to have s3x like rabid small rodents to preserve life itself to - yeah I know I can but I'm kinda tired and I know where to find you if I really, really want too later. It's kinda sad but I knew it would happen. We're going through some changes in our daily living, sleeping patterns are different, and so I guess something has got to give. That is three days in a row with no boom boom. I just keep secretly hoping it's not due to him not being as attracted to me or that I've caused him undue stress with his living/roommate situation that he is a little put off. Yeah I know insecurity, but it's there and I can't ignore it. He also mentioned that I never seem to initiate the act. Hmm I thought I did my fair share. I'll be honest I'm not going to verbally say it verbally, but I will do other things that should make it pretty clear. Sometimes I'm a "doer" (touching, kissing, etc.) and not a "sayer". It just doesn't feel right to me. I feel like it cheapens it some how when I say it. I get a little embarrassed what can I say? Uh I don't know. All I know is that this week has been kinda hard with the new food plan, moving back to my place, sleeping/waking at different hours, and just the all around adjustments to my everyday life. I'm feeling kind of let down. I need a new job. I want a new car. I want to live closer to work. I want to be able to be with Z every evening. I want to loose weight. I want to make more money. I want. I want. I want. Yes, I know. Patience my preeeccccciiiiiiioooooooooous. Patience. Bah!



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