Day's Left until I become Mrs. Smith :)

Day 4 of JC and so far feeling really good. Not overly hungry thus far, but I have dealt with head hungry. When it happens I try to dig really deep to see if I'm really hungry per say or if I just think something sounds good or smells good so I want it. I've felt very in control so far. Yeah I'm following a menu plan but everyday I find myself feeling less obsessed about the food thing which is wonderful. I believe I'm also loosing weight. I don't have a scale here at the house so there are no sneaking peaks just yet but I may get one in the future.
Traffic was very forgiving to me yesterday and I was able to eat dinner before i was too hungry. Fish and chips were really good though I was worried that I wouldn't be full as they were 1/4 what I normally would eat it seemed. Head games really suck.
Living at home again has been a really good thing. I really do feel that. Z and I have more time to talk about our feelings and how bad we both felt about not being able to keep the current living situation, but I knew that it was short term and that I was not truly happy with it other than the fact that I was extremely happy to be able to be with Z all of the time. We found we're both excited about the new change and are looking forward to spending more time - just the two of us - here at the house. I will still stay with Z on occasion at the condo but the majority of the time will be spent here. Z will stay with me more often as work and other situations arise that might need his attention in his own neck of the woods. We will make this work. I'm just so happy to be able to finally nest with my sweetie heh. I'm really liking this so far. I had to throw a bunch of old condiments out of the fridge and am still working on restocking them. I'm looking forward to cooking dinner for Z with him in this kitchen. Sleeping with him in my bed and just being able to BE here with him. I knew that the time would come but I guess we were both just putting it off. He admitted to having a more solidified plan about what he wants to do as well. We're still in love and plan on getting married in the future, but now he has a better idea of when. I think this change has cause us to stop living in auto pilot and really think about how we are going to bring this together. Plus it will give us some experience with living together and having me readjust to having someone to share the house with. I admit I'm a control freak but I find that I feel more relaxed now that I'm back in my element. That means that I've been more comfortable with leaving the dishes in the sink over night (never would have happened before) and things not being "in their place" so to speak. I'll get to it later. Things never get really messy around here but I used to be fastidious about putting/cleaning things all of the time. Things were not right in my world if they weren't. Plus the house is much bigger than the condo so it take a lot longer to make things really, really unbearable which we will probably never do. I'm feeling much better about things and I don't question Z's love for me and I don't question my love for him. We are in a good place.
Z's parents finally get to see my house and will be staying here next week. I'm really looking forward to it. They are such nice and loving people. Plus they are a kick to hang out with. Maybe my parents can finally meet his parents since we'll be right next to them. I'll ask Z to see what he says.
Going to Mt. Baker Sunday to snowboard while Z skis again. I'm going to rent and take a lesson again since it will be only my second time doing it. Looking forward to it. Z is excited about real snow and lots of it.
Doing well. Feeling happy. Now I just need to wait a few more minutes for my breakfast to digest so that I can go get my workout done so that I can meet up with my girls for a little visiting later this evening.
Life is good again.




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