142 lbs again today so it must be official - for now, but hold onto your hats, because that number will continue to goo dowwwwnnn...

I had a good week, but it was full of alcoholic imbuement and dancing. Just pure fun to make up for the hard decisions that have been flooding my life as of late - though yes, I know, I brought them on myself. I still feel really proud of myself for making the decision, but that doesn't mean I don't want to run and hide in my childhood bed at my mom's house and just sleep it off. Hoping that when I wake this will all be taken care of - kind of like the scene in Dogma where God just blinks her eyes and all the dead bodies on the lawn and gates of the Catholic church are gone and the streets are clean and she walks over and smells the flowers like nothing happened... But I know that I must perservere and see this out. It might get worse before it gets better, but I KNOW this must be done. At least L and I can still talk things out - though we definitely don't see eye to eye.

Two of my good fellow IT friends just got laid off this morning and that is just a start. 2 other IT people in my over area got laid off earlier this week as well... It's just so darn quiet lately. I can't relax at work and it doesn't help that my co-workers made MY cube the social/food cube where every one brings there Halloween candy, cookies, jelly bellies etc. to display for everyone in hopes that they will partake... DON'T THEY KNOW THAT I DON'T WANT/NEED TO PARTAKE? That would just get me back to where I WAS *whine*! I did have a few York peppermint patties and 2 fun size packs of whoppers, but I didn't have any triple threat microwaveable chips ahoy cookies - though I have been watching them all week...

My female boss and I agree that on days like this a individual size - oh heck might as well make that a regular size slice that you would normally be able to share with 5-7 people IF you were trying to watch your weight- slice of mud pie with extra hot fudge and caramel drizzled/drenched over the top, with Oreo cookie ice cream, would be the resolution for the blues... Do you dare disagree?!! But we didn't succumb to the temptations - though I was close several times.

We have a Claim Jumpers near by so it would be very easy to place a call to go and have it delivered right to the doors of the company... But I kept telling myself NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS. I truly feel that now that I'm just 7 lbs from goal. I CAN TASTE SUCESS, though I am more than happy were I am right now as well. I want to see if I can make it to my personal goal weight of 135 lbs and maintain it. That will be the big test now won't it ;)? Enough babble, must go back to sleep - that is not something I have been getting much of as of late... Aw Hell - I'll sleep when I die - which will hopefully not be soon...

(Engaged 9/16/05)