157.0 Sunday 8/14

156.6 after breakfast, workout, coffee, water, and BM

Still here chugging away. Still trying to document my food on Fitday. I think this is the longest I've ever gone to tell you the truth. I really want an honest look at what I eat though. Food has always been the issue. Working out hasn't really. I ate too many calories this weekend and didn't workout for 3 days, but seriously my body should be able to take that as much as I usually workout during the week. My body gives me no leeway.

It sucks.

Z is seeing more definition and is losing weight with our latest workout plan. Me? No. Just bouncing around where I have for ever it seems. It's very, very frustrating. I mean I'm busting my butt but not getting the results. Why bother spending the majority of my life in the gym if I don't see results. I spend the rest of it at work and on the road to work it seems. I'm just trying to keep updating the data and I'll submit this all to my doctor when I go in on 8/29 for my next Depo shot. It's not fair. It really isn't, but who said life what fair right?

I've been having a really hard time sleeping the last couple of nights. Z gave me a massage and poured me a glass of wine with dinner to help unwind me. It helped but I was still aware of most of his movements throughout the night and still sleepy enough that my eye lids are sore. I didn't have any Tylenol pm so maybe I'll have to get some this weekend.

My skin totally freaked out the last couple of days after being so clear this weekend. I had 4 erupt over night. I popped (TMI I know) one on Monday but there were two more that were so large they hurt. My skin felt really oily even with Accutane and I felt miserable. I went in to get my first laser hair removal on my bikini area (ouch!) and they technician suggested getting the large pimples injected with something that would make them go away over night and that my insurance would pay for it most likely so I did it and they look great this morning and my skin was so dry tht it was white (I'm naturally tan ;)).The pimples are tiny this morning and on their way to healing nicely. I wish I knew what my skin was going to next so I know when I need to put a paper bag over it! Like Z would ever let me do that... He thinks I'm beautiful even when I don't think/feel pretty in the least. He is so sweet even when I'm very cranky. Such a sweetie.

I'm really happy about the results of the hair removal so far. Nothing crazy like my Brazilian wax that I normally get, but I just wanted to clean certain areas up permanently. Once things heal up I will continue to get my Brazilians, but I'll just have less area for them to remove :). I've always hated my bikini line. I also had some facial hair removed and I've felt like a new person. It didn't start happening until a couple of years ago and it made me so embarrassed!!! I was always plucking. Now I don't have to and I love my technician. She is so sweet and doesn't touchups whenever she sees a stray any where. :)The skin in the areas have return to their usual softness and the discoloration is gone. She has helped me feel pretty again.

(Engaged 9/16/05)