My head feels like it's going to explode! I woke up this not being able to breath through my nose, because it was filled with really thick snot. Sorry for the TMI, but I just thought I would share. I was really tired after going to Z's good buddy/roommate/co-workers sister's wedding and then Z & I made beautiful heart wrenching love that lasted for quite a while. We were both so exhausted we passed out with the candle still burning and not being under the covers heh. I woke up at 3am and finally blew out the candle and got under the comforter since I was cold. Then I kept waking up because I couldn't breathe. It was like being under water or something. My head is full of pressure in my sinuses and it really hurts :(. I can't tell if I have a cold or just a sinus infection. My allergies were going absolutely bonkers yesterday at the reception after the wedding. I was so itchy and sneezey. I was pretty miserable, but I kept moving and staying busy trying to help get things cleaned up and put away after the wedding that I didn't really notice. I did have a really bad head ache (must of been the pressure building up) but I figured it was just from a long day in really hot weather and moving around a lot trying to get things done. I guess not.

Z was in the wedding and looked fabulous in the rented tux. I found myself watching him during the wedding and thinking about how the priests talked about everlasting love and remembering to keep that flame alive even after marriage. Z and I aren't married (yet heh), but we have such a strong love that even if we were to get married I would want to cherish it forever. I want to keep the passion alive. I'm sure that we'll be able to do it. He is so incredibly affectionate it warms my heart and makes me smile. It's an automatic reaction. I love that guy so much. I never thought that I could love someone as much as I love him.

I ended up wearing a long black, spaghetti strap dress I wore my freshman year of college that looked great. I can't believe I was able to get into that thing 50 or so pounds heavier. It's a slightly stretchy dress, but I still don't see how I looked at all remotely flattering in it back then. I HAD to wear a body shaper to smooth out the rolls of fat before and I still HATED the pictures when we got them back. I remember looking at them and being absolutely desolate so I just put them in a drawer of maybe threw them away. NO loss. I didn't get a picture with the dress on, but maybe Z can take one later. It's a perfect dress for a warm evening dinner at a nice place, so I'm sure I'll wear it again. I've got pics of Z in his tux that I may put up if I get pics of my dress as well. He was so darned cute, dashing, and debonair.

He caught me watching him during the ceremony and smiled this loving/knowing smile. He told me later he was thinking about me as well during the ceremony and about how much he loves me. He said that when he caught me looking at him adoringly he felt so loved. I'm so glad that I can project those types of feelings with my eyes. He certainly got the message I was sending. I was completely lost in my thoughts about our love but as soon as he caught my gaze I was transfixed. It was as if we were the only two people in that church looking at each other for a brief moment. Somehow sharing our thoughts and feelings a crossed the room without even touching or saying a word.

Oh how I love that man...

No time to workout this weekend and now my nose is all messed up so I'm not sure I'll be going to the gym tonight. The only way I'll be able to pull that off is if I asked Z to bring me my stuff, but since my head hurts really bad I'm thinking I may have to pass. Not sure yet. Mom took care of my roots and refoiled my hair last week so my hair looked very nice during the wedding. My mom really didn't want me looking like crap for some reason tee hee. Z said I looked great, but really liked the hair once it was done as well. Eating has been not all that great, but I'm back on plan as of monday. Z, his sister-in-law and I went and had sushi for breakfast/lunch. It will probably be the only meal I eat, unless I eat some yogurt and cereal. I'm not sure yet. I may snack shortly though. Hopefully this day goes quickly and I get all of my water in like I should. I'll be trying.

(Engaged 9/16/05)