Day's Left until I become Mrs. Smith :)

Feeling a bit better. Still really tired and feeling kinda out of it, but I feel better now that I slept in today. I decided to stay home and try to get a bit more sleep to see if I could snap out of it. I've got a few things that I can work on from home and then I won't have to worry about trying to fight traffic by myself when I'm tired and feeling out of it in the dark most likely in the rain to get all the way to my parents house for dinner. AND most importantly I won't be overly late so my mom doesn't have to eat late. Something she hates, but oh well I work late, but that is not a concern today so I'm not worrying about it.
Z is going to take care of the garage stuff. I'm going to go grocery shopping so that we can stock the house with some stuff for the week. I might even take another nap, because I'm still tired. Course that could be from the workout.
To clarify the coffee on the rug thing, it was my future father in law (FFIL) and they had all tried to clean it up, but I have a feeling the sub flooring soaked up quite a bit so it just kept bleeding to the surface. The big pitcher of soapy water and towels to absorb all of the extra moisture must of done it. I knew they wouldn't just leave it there, but I was in a weird mood. At least I didn't let it get me down.
My FFIL is worried about me worrying so much. He can tell as well as Z that it bogs me down. I'm trying to snap out of it as I really shouldn't have much to worry about, but unfortunately things don't work like that ;). The world would be a better place if it did, but so is life, right?
I'm feeling good other than being tired. I will conquer these weird feelings some how some way. I have no reason to feel like this. I will not let my mom's negative attitude and comments bring me down. I'm a hard worker and a compassionate person who doesn't deserve to feel like this so I'm gonna work on it. One day at a time. And of course with the help of my sweetie. He told me last night that I never ask for help or tell him that I need him, but I always need him. I just find it hard to ask or say it most of the time. I don't like to ask for much actually. I don't know when that started but it's been the going thing for me. I know that when my mom fell I needed Z sooo much but I knew with the circumstances that wasn't possible so I bucked up and handled things the best that I could and had my break down later. I'm very protective of myself. I don't know why. I find that my muscles in my legs and shoulders are almost always tense. Like I'm ready to pounce, but yet I don't consciously think about it. Strange. My mom would get into these moods when I was growing up and I never knew which one I had to deal with and some of the things she said were hurtful so maybe I learned that I needed to be ready at all times. I remove myself and detach so that things wouldn't hurt so much... Something to think about.
Back to the real world and grocery shopping.
Hope you all have a great day.

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