My, my, my have I neglected my little blog.

What can I say? I haven't had much to write about. Well I guess I have but I'm just not in the mood.

I've been sick for like two weeks now, so that royally sucks and has cut into my workout time, but that will end soon. My Z is back so I am wonderfully content and smitten again. He got me some wonderful gifts. I'm so glad he is back.

On the other hand I'm a bit emotional as I'm having surgery next Tuesday the 26th. Yikes! I'm excited and frustrated, because my mother is still not coming around. She feels torn. She is 100% supportive when it comes to me loosing weight and wanting to be my best. She tells me how beautiful I am now and that I don't need to loose any more weight and that I'm a heart breaker, but when I try to explain this breast augmentation is to help improve something that I can not improve with exercise and diet she doesn't approve and pretty much shuts me out. I'm an only child and the only family I have is my mother. We are very close so it kills me when she does this. I've already talked to Z about it and I know that I have to do what I want and not expect any support from my mother but it hurts and is stressing me out. It doesn't help that TOM just ended and had me all railed up as well. I�ve been eating a bit of chocolate here and there to feed my cravings, but TOM is ending this Sunday so this too shall pass. I can't wait but I'm scared at the same time. Z has been wonderful through and through. He wants to make it a 'Nita weekend were I can go shopping or get my nails done and buy all the pre op stuff that I'll need before and after surgery. My nails have been really irking me after I tried to do a nail wrap at home myself. Ever since they have been really brittle and my nails are usually super strong. They just keep tearing and it�s just so sad. I might just go get them professionally done. I�m thinking a silk wrap, but maybe I�ll just hold off. They are just about grown out where they were obviously damaged from the products I used, but I don�t know if I can wait that long. It�s been forever and very painful to have my nails this short and they keep breaking even lower. I�ve never had my nails in such a state. It�s very sad. My guy is so wonderful. If I didn't have Z, I would feel totally alone right now. I'm just going to keep trudging on. I want this and I'm going to make it happen whether or not my mother approves. I'm almost 30 years old for goodness sakes! I'm going to see some girl friends I haven't seen in forever and then I'm coming home to snuggle in my baby's warm safe embrace. No workout tonight, but I will be working out Saturday and Sunday since I won't be able to workout for at least a week after the surgery.

(Engaged 9/16/05)