45.5 points yesterday consumed... Yup, pretty bad, but oh well. Today is a new day. Yesterday I felt really overwhelmed thanks to a lot of little things that finally broke the camels back yesterday evening. My BF totally calmed me down with a really sweet call and after some good hard running (3 miles only due to my plantar fasciitis acting up really bad just when I was really rocking) and some stationary biking, for a total of an hour I finally was able to sleep at around 12:30 midnight. I tried to yet again get up at 3:30am, but my butt was too tired. One day I will be able to make it to the gym at 3am again. It's been so long... At least I'm going in the evening though. I need to go to bed earlier, but it just doesn't seem like that is going to happen right now. Oh and I did 2 hours of yard work yesterday as well.

After looking back on everything I realized that my life is going really well (Thanks Z for reminding me of that sweetie!) and that the other stuff should discount that. I have a good family, a loving new boyfriend, good friends, a place to lay my head, and a job. So all in all, life is pretty good - even though they don't always go my way:). I was feeling really neurotic last night and started to question whether or not I was getting slight depressed again, but I decided it was more being tired and over sensitive. Hey you would be a bit bothered if you had been spotting for 3 weeks straight, not counting being on your period of an additional week, for a grand total of 4 weeks of menstruation in one degree or another (just one of the few things that have been bothering me of late)!!! Plus I just recently found out that a really good friend of my x just lost his wife to a car accident. She was like my age, young, active, healthy, in love, just got married, and they both just purchased a house. I can't believe she is gone. I can't imagine how her husband M feels... This makes me think that life really sucks!!!! They totally didn't deserve to have their life derailed. Not that anyone ever deserves to die; it just was too soon. She was so sweet...I'm just sad about it.

I just have to remember to live one day at a time and to enjoy every minute, right?

(Engaged 9/16/05)